Search Terms….

Every day when I log onto my wordpress admin account I check the search terms for which people find The Sanctuary.  Today takes the cake people.  Someone used the term “Dragqueen” to find The Sanctuary.  Now I know that search terms are plays on words that are listed in or on your website.  However nowhere on my site will find the name dragqueen.  Yes, I know what a dragqueen is.  But what the flipin’ heck does have to do with my site..seing that no where is the word used on this site.  If anyone can explain this to me PLEASE make a comment or send me an email.  LOL cause that is some funny shit!

Also someone found The Sanctuary by using the terms, “Italian Hanger Sex Postition.”  Now I know why that one was done by the search engine.  However that got me thinking .. what the fuck type of sex postition is this.  So I went on a search and well…as the person who found my site (may have found) I can find nothing to tell me what the fuck postition this is.  So again if you know what it is please email me or leave me a comment.  I just may want to try that one on my wife.

Paris Hilton Crotch Shot

WOW. I know some may get sick of ole Paris Hilton..but I shall never get tired of seing her. We have been sent, via email, a very sexy Paris Hilton Crotch Shot. This picture was taken by the national photo nazi’s and I must say, this time, thanks man. So therefore never wanting to cheat as you stroll The Sanctuary..here is a very hot and sexy Paris Hilton Crotch Shot. Brought to you by your friends at The Sanctuary!

…Is it really winter

Man here lately I am not sure if it is winter here or not. We really have not had any winter type weather. In fact we haven’t had a really good winter in a number of years. I actually hate winter to be honest with you. I love spring, summer, and early fall. I really would not get upset if we do not see any snow this season at all. I hate snow and I hate other drivers that think they can drive on snow. Around here people with 4×4’s think .. oh wow there is ice and snow out I can drive on it. Stupid ass drivers..snow covering the road so bad you cannot see the road and they speed by you at 60 mph. Here is a picture of a snow we got a few years back:

Little ole me

I have noticed that some of you have posted pictures of yourself to your sites. I thought about it for a bit and I think that I want to add a picture of myself. I think that I will start adding some pictures of myself to some post. I am a exihbtionist type of guy so I do not mind adding pictures of myself. I hope they do not scare you off (my wife will bitch me out for that comment). In fact this isn’t one of her most favorite pictures of me. She thinks I look pissed off or something. I wasn’t actually pissed I was looking at the screen as I took the picture. It has some blots on the picture as I was messing around on paint and fucked it up. Anyway here I am..I was actually naked when I took this but it isn’t a feel body shot..sorry.

New Things

I am taking some time off from work this weekend and I got the itch to add some new stuff. I have added to my blogroll a good many new sites. These are sites I have been going to for a good while. Please check them out. I have also added a mail to link to my sidebar. I am not sure if any of you will email me or not. Hell knowing my luck I just may get a shit load of spam, LOL. If there is anything you would like to see added here or if you just want to chat feel free to email me. If you would like to submit a picture for sexy sunday then feel free to email them to me. Please be sure  that your pic is of someone over the age of 18.

Dirty Sex Jokes

Dirty Riddles

Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q. What’s a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q. What’s the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

Q. What’s the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.

Q. What’s the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X’s on the back of the sheep that kick!

Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it’s worth it!

Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.

Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.

Q.What is the difference between “ooooooh”and “aaaaaaah”?
A. About three inches.

Q: What’s the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.

Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It’s not hard.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.

Q: What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don’t have eyes.

Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A .They don’t have balls to scratch!

Sexual Nutrition Information

Giving ………head……. massages the jaw….while burning 32 calories.

Swallowing foreign body juices is actually like taking vitamins and it whitens your teeth

The American Dental Association says that semen cuts plaque better than mouth wash, so suck a dick and save a smile.

Having nice sex burns 358 calories.

Having rough sex [make it hurt] burns 543 calories.

Take off her clothes
with her consent…………………….12 cal
without………………….187 cal

Take off her Bra
With two hands……………………..8 cal
With one hand…………………….12 cal
With mouth………………………..85 cal

Put on Protection
hard ……………………… 6 cal
soft……………………..315 cal

Foreplay
Looking for target……………….8 cal
Finding G spot ………………….92 cal
I don’t F***ing care…………………0 cal

Entry
Holding her………………12 cal
On the floor……………..8 cal

With Different Position
Missionary……………………..358 cal
Doggy………………………316 cal
69 lying………………………….286 cal
69 standing………………………..512 cal
Italian hanger…………………….912 cal

Orgasm
Real…………………………..112 cal
Faking…………………………..315 cal

After “O”
Lying in Bed……………………….18 cal
Hop off the bed……………………….36 cal
Wondering why she left pissed off………..816 cal

Get dressed
Quiet and calm………………………32 cal
Rushing…………………….98 cal
Heard her boyfriend opening the door………….1218 cal
Heard her dad at the door………….1942 cal
Her mom walking in…………………………Priceless!!!